


i'll hold you close (and erase that loneliness)

by Tsundeyama



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: (tsumugi/yamato if you squint really hard), Fluff, M/M, a little angst because who doesn't love angst, ainana is just one big family, episode 15, hurt/comfort i guess ?, i don't know if i can put tama and sou as a pairing since NOTHING happen but, i think at this point the whole group is shipping mezzo together, sogo is whipped over tamaki, tamaki is baby, they're definitely pinning on each other, yamato is tamaki's dad now i don't make the rules
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2021-01-01 22:34:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21150866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsundeyama/pseuds/Tsundeyama
Summary: tamaki is awfully quiet on the ride home and even after they have arrived. sogo understands. maybe not everything tamaki is feeling or what he is going through —what he went through— but still he worries about his friend. he doesn’t think he ever had to take care of tamaki in this way and he is now reminded that in spite of everything, tamaki is still a child.he always was the most childish and no one ever forgot that he was idolish7’s youngest member, but upon seeing him like this, so sad and angry and broken and guilty and lost, sogo really feels like he has to deal with a child and not with an almost nineteen year-old teenager.it’s fine though, because tamaki is his bandmate, his friend, someone he deeply wants to protect. so he held his hand through the cab ride, not caring about what they must have looked like, two man holding hands. he held his hand when he led him into the dorms, and even now as they’re taking off their shoes in the hallway, he is still holding on tight.





	i'll hold you close (and erase that loneliness)

**Author's Note:**

> i struggled so hard to find a title i was so close to just give up and never post this, i even made an ensemble stars meme waiting for the inspiration to come to me ???? it didn't and the title suck, whatever i still hope you clicked.

**« i will not and that’s final. »**

he said it thrice already but no one was listening to him so tamaki raises his voice this time, not his wisest idea as yamato — who he’s been arguing with — frowns and clicks his tongue. next to him, tsumugi doesn’t know if she should calm the leader, try to argue with tamaki herself, or break down in tears right here and now because she is under so much stress she absolutely did _not _need him to snap at them like that.

**« listen here, tamaki. » ** _yamato’s voice is threatening this time as he steps closer, dropping the usual nickname he always uses when addressing tamaki. _ **« you are coming with us to apologize wether you like it or not. »**

the green-haired adult sounds like a reproachful father, and like parents often do, he is so very ready to raise his voice as well to say things he absolutely doesn’t mean and will probably regret later on, things tamaki doesn’t need to hear, like how he is such an ungrateful child, and how he is always putting them, _idolish7_, in trouble. it’s not true of course, but yamato is angry and he doesn’t know how to get tamaki to listen to him. tsumugi has a hand on yamato’s forearm, her attempt to calm him down a little. 

**« it’s you who should listen to me. i’m not apologizing. i’m not even sorry to begin with. you guys don’t understand —»**

**« that’s it, i —»**

yamato _will _throw hands, and quite literally. tsumugi speaks up at last, holds him back because violence will not help solve the problem at hand, the problem that started with violence when tamaki decided to punch his father in the face in the middle of a (hopefully not live) broadcast. 

**« i think it’s fine. »**

it’s the first time another member but the leader and the youngest speaks up since the group got back into the waiting room after the incident. they watched the argument unravel, not really knowing what to think or do, but at last, sogo spoke up in favor of his fellow mezzo member.

**« don’t get me wrong, i don’t think tamaki was right to do what he did but i think that, like he said, there is something we don’t understand going on. of course he shouldn’t have lost his cool and shouldn’t have punched his father like that because violence never solves anything. » ** _he looks at tamaki briefly and the younger avoids his gaze, _ **« but tamaki is obviously not going to change his mind so just let it go. »**

sogo holds the stare yamato gives him without flinching and for a few seconds, the two seem to have a silent conversation where sogo obviously tries to get the leader to give in because _come on, it’s obvious that tamaki is going through something right now, don’t make him do this_. at last, yamato sighs and turn his back to leave the room, tsumugi following right behind him. 

**« fine. but you owe us an explanation later, tama. » ** _he turns to sogo. _ **« take him home, will you ? »**

**« of course. »**

⋆⋆⋆

tamaki is awfully quiet on the ride home and even after they have arrived. sogo understands. maybe not everything tamaki is feeling or what he is going through —what he _went _through— but still he worries about his friend. he doesn’t think he ever had to take care of tamaki in this way and he is now reminded that in spite of everything, tamaki is still a child. 

he always was the most childish and no one ever forgot that he was idolish7’s youngest member, but upon seeing him like this, so sad and angry and broken and guilty and lost, sogo really feels like he has to deal with a child and not with an almost nineteen year-old teenager. 

it’s fine though, because tamaki is his bandmate, his friend, someone he deeply wants to protect. so he held his hand through the cab ride, not caring about what they must have looked like, two man holding hands. he held his hand when he led him into the dorms, and even now as they’re taking off their shoes in the hallway, he is still holding on tight. with a smile, sogo helps tamaki take off his jacket before quickly discarding his own. his hand once more find tamaki’s bigger one. 

**« do you want some king pudding, taa-kun ? » ** _he doesn’t usually call him by this nickname, not when he is sober at least, but it feels right somehow. _ **« i’ll make you hot chocolate, too, and then we can… »**

_talk_, he wanted to say, but he doesn’t know if tamaki is ready or if he wants to share more about his past with him. his sentence is left unfinished. 

the two walk to the kitchen, tamaki following sogo around like a puppy —an _adorable _puppy— holding onto the back of his shirt as sogo needs both his hands to make the promised hot chocolate and take the pudding out of the fridge. 

once the beverage is ready, they both sit on the couch and sogo feels himself relieved when he sees tamaki actually eating his pudding and take a sip of his mug of hot chocolate. he is still very silent though and sogo doesn’t know how to react to that. should he make him talk ? should he ask about what happened ? should he try another subject with absolutely no relation to the fact that tamaki just beat up his father on a tv-set ? 

**« you know, i’m always here if you want to talk. » ** _he simply says. _ **« about anything, no matter what it is or how silly it might sound. i’m always here for you, both as a bandmate and as a friend i think i can speak on the behalf of the other members as well, they are here too. »**

because sogo was never the best to coax informations out of others, but he definitely was a good listener, a strong shoulder to lean on when things were too hard. tamaki looked at him, half hiding behind his mug of hot chocolate and mumbled a small _thank you_, that reassured sogo. he got his point across at least. 

⋆⋆⋆

the night is getting late and the others are still not coming back, either because the trouble tamaki caused was so much tsumugi and yamato were still apologizing on his behalf at the studio, trying their best to fix things, or because the members and their manager wanted to leave sogo and tamaki alone for a while, just enough time for sogo to calm the youngest down. it is common knowledge that tamaki has a soft spot for his bandmate, that sogo is the only one he actually listens to, that he mellows down when he is with him. 

sogo figures it’s late enough and there is no point in waiting further, tamaki can always apologize to everyone in the morning — not for what he did because it is clear he doesn’t regret it, but at least for the consequences of it. sogo managed to talk some sense into him by explaining that no one was really mad at him for snapping at his father, surely he had his reasons to do so, only for stubbornly refusing to apologize and causing so much trouble. _you don’t have to mean it, _sogo said, _but apologizing is just the right thing to do. _and it was hard to understand at first because tamaki is always so honest, but he said he was sorry for causing troubles for his leader and manager. 

**« it’s getting late. let’s go to sleep okay ? » ** _said sogo as he stood up. _ **« you can talk to the others tomorrow. i’m sure they won’t mind if you don’t wait up for them. »**

the poor boy looked exhausted, physically and emotionally. sogo walked him to his room, looked over him as he brushed his teeth and changed into his pajamas, and even tucked him to bed. 

**« you’ve been acting like my mom all evening… » ** _the boy whines, and sogo doesn’t know if he means it like a reproach. _ **« can you… can you stay with me until i fall asleep sou-chan ? »**

he guesses not. he guesses a parental figure is what tamaki needs the most right now, what he needed all along, and so a parental figure he will be. with his gentlest smile, sogo pats tamaki’s head, brushing his bangs aside. 

**« let me just change out of these clothes and leave some room for me on the bed, i’ll be right here. » ** _and he understands what tamaki implies, what tamaki fears. _ **« i won’t be leaving. »**

and when sogo slips underneath the covers, when tamaki snuggle close to him and buries his head against his chest, when sogo strokes his hair, lulling him to sleep, he says it again : _i’m not leaving. _and really, no one is. it’s okay for tamaki to let go of his pain, of his fears… idolish7 will be his family and this family is not ready to abandon him. 


End file.
